Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize