i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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