Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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