Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
