I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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