I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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