Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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