You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
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I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize