he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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