Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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