I wish I could punch you in the face.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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