There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
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Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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