bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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