How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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