No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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