3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
