I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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