The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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