maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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