They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
