if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
