I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
