Can Purell be used as lube?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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