i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
