I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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