Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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