if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
