Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
