Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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