Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
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I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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