he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
