you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
