Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
