yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
