idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I look better un-naked...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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