as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
