All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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