the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
