You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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