im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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