Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
