he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I love you. Go after that dick
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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