we have officially lost it.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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