Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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