when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
