bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize