my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Randomize
