had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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