i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
