I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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