god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
