So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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