UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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