i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
foreskin is a definite game changer
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
